Saturday, June 23, 2012

Good Feelings

Every now and then I try to keep on a schedule of pseudo transcendental meditation. Pseudo in that there's a specialized technique that gurus charge thousands of dollars to guide you through. I go off of stuff I've read in articles, techniques from various blogs found from googling the subject. When I someday have thousands leftover after paying monthly bills, I'll hire one.

Today, in trying to dissipate a lingering spring anxiety I seem to get every year, I sat down and decided to grab 20 minutes of such meditation. And it was good. In fact, the tingling I became aware of made me giggle. And the tingling felt really quite weird.  And I giggled some more, taking me out of it, which was a relief, because the good feeling was overwhelming.

It made me remember something a friend once told me. He was a little older than me, and mentioned that he found as life goes by you just become more tolerant of pain. And he found himself feeling really good one day and felt like something was wrong.

The fact the we feel so weird about feeling good makes me think that there are many elements to modern life that need to be revised. Plugging our conscious into a course that welcomes its daily dose of anxiety is just stupid. Perhaps we feel guilty because we've moved on from our animal days and don't necessarily have direct, fanged predators breathing in the bushes. Some of us do maybe, but I'm lucky not to, unless a neighbor starts trying to feel good with bath salts. Anyway, my seeming everyday problems probably shouldn't take precedence in my frontal cortex over sitting cross-legged, eyes closed, and giggling. 

And I feel good about this little pep talk I just made public.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Aw man

Aw man, I've been slacking with my blogging here. 

But I've been writing in a "journal." That stuff's embarrassing so I keep it there.

My novel is getting closer to where I'm ready to share. It's fiction, but with autobiographical undertones, so it'll feel weird having people read it. Very exciting though, I'd like to blush.  I feel literature should make an author blush, not in "this piece is pretty bad" kind of way but blushing in a "I just put myself out there" kind of way.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Subtle Sway

I'm a product of my environment. I've watched plenty of TV and suffered through and enjoyed commercials of different varieties. When I was younger we used to tape movies off TV. Our old VHS of a taped Ghostbusters contains grainy nostalgic doses of old Pillsbury Doughboy commercials, Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chips, Pizza Hut ads spreading word about the Land Before Time puppet giveaways with meals. That tape has been worn to shit. A few years back I watched it and felt just at home with those old commercials as the classic movie itself. 

It had a dream like quality for me, and dreams are the best way to sway me on a product. If a brand can dunk itself far enough into my subconscious to bob as a staple in my dreamland, then I'm pretty close to convinced. 

A few weeks back I had a dream I was driving around back in my hometown of Auburn, ME. It was snowing. Through the blinding white hitting the windshield I hunted for sight of a Dunkin Donuts. In fact, this quest for a Dunkin Donuts; a hot cup of coffee and a few chocolate glazed donuts was the through-line of this REM adventure. When I awoke, I made a stop soon after to the donut destination. It convinced and stirred a hankering better than any commercial. But the dream's successful sway can give credit to the year's of accumulated memories revolving around late night visits to 24 hr Dunkin Donuts for warm cups, glazed indulgences, or something to do at an odd hour.  The experience stays and reinforces. 

A few dreams of KFC have fucked up my arteries in consequence.

The other night I had a dream of a different display of propaganda. Rahm Emmanuel put forth an initiative for Chicago's poor, and wealthy. In a gargantuan, vacant warehouse on the west side he "sought" to fight hunger and paucity by enlisting dozens of food vendors to donate to a pop up grocery store. He invited all of Chicago's residents to stop by over the course of the day, and one cart per household was welcome to fill up with foodstuffs, at the city's expense. Now, when one got to the warehouse to push their cart around for an easy one time break from hunting and gathering, they were also immersed in a pseudo museum showing historical photos from famous casinos, such happy faces playing games! Murals spanned walls with child like renditions of wonderful times at the slots! The initiative to slow hunger was also a campaign to get all the citizens excited about the potential Chicago casino coming our way. And what a perfect demographic to spike the hope of a lucky win; the lower class. And middle and upper class. 

All were invited to fill up their carts. 

All were invited to see the glory of the gamble.