Monday, April 19, 2010


I had a dream last night in which I was on a business trip, on some leadership building retreat of sorts at a resort. A large group of us were gathered around the outdoor pool for the first day of this conference. Of course the session began with a round of introductions coupled with "something interesting about yourself." I was picked to introduce myself first. I began with my name. The people on the far end of the pool could not hear me over the wind. So I had to SHOUT my name over the wicked breeze.

This morning my girlfriend informed me that I had shouted in my sleep...I had shouted "JEFF!"

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Smoke Break in dreamy

I smoked my first cigarette in years in a dream I had last night. It was a work dream. I recently began working as a sales rep for a merchant processing company. Not a bad job at all actually. I get a desk. M-F 9-5pm, 1 hour lunch. Anyway in my dream I was making sales calls and a blizzard was hitting Chicago. We were stuck in the office over night, which motivated me to take part in a quick smoke outside, in the impending wash of white. I thought I'd be brave and venture into a nearby CVS to get some toiletries but found it to be a "micro" CVS, finding that to mean they had jack shit of anything. They had candy bars, magazines, t-shirts and flip flops. Despite the weather a nite club was hopping and thumping with music. When I returned some of my co-worker's families had come to camp out. One had brought a baby. I was asked to help change his diaper. When I took him into the bathroom I found him to have white fur (like my cat Gus I suppose). I guess I think of Gus as my baby. Sorry to be so sickening.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Porter Hut

Quite exhausted today. Many vivid dreams. One involved being on a documentary film crew and trouncing across snow covered golf courses and finding a hut where a coffee infused porter was being brewed. When I woke up my body felt as though I had drunk a lot of it.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

podcast and book review!

New episode of Wood Sugars podcast Inside the Barrel - Episode II: Health & Robin Hood.

Also, Jason Behrends recently reviewed my book - Turban Tan at What to Wear to an Orange Alert

Thursday, April 8, 2010

News in the world of jeff

We at Wood Sugars Comedy are rolling out our new podcast, now titled "Inside the Barrel." This has evolved from a conversational podcast, mostly us goofing around (still entertaining) to take on a more radio-like platform. We now have audio sketches and more dynamic topics to drive forward the conversational comedy. It's free, definitely subscribe to us
or search "Wood Sugars" in itunes.

Tonight I'll be reading a new short story at The Liquid Burning of Apocalyptic Bard Letters at Matilda Baby Atlas. 8-10pm. 3101 N. Sheffield in Chicago. Free event by the way. This will kick off what is now a monthly reading series started by myself and my friend Aaron Cynic. Every second thursday of the month.

Also, the production of Whiskey Pike is now a fiscally sponsored project of Fractured Atlas, meaning it has a 501(c)(3) status. Any donation you make is tax deductible for yourself. Help a wild movie get up a running and owe Uncle Sam less ->

Donate now!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

an easter basket melted
when it fell into the spitfire
the cat hissed when it smelled
the plastic popping
a little girl had already
nibbled at the chocolate bunny
so all was not lost
and she knew this
and so she was the most calm
about the bubbling and burning
of the green basket
the grandmother and the cat
fretted most about the incident
which caused great measures to
be taken the following year
as the spitfire lamb tradition
was retired and replaced with
an easy honey ham
and easter baskets
that were really just
green porcelin bowls.