Sunday, March 31, 2013

Got Beat Up By A Chocolate Frosty

Pseudo Spring day, I went for a walk. After awhile I passed by a Wendy's, and this day feeling fairly Spring-ish, I wanted an ice cream cone, a Frosty would do. 

So I went in, dropped some pennies on the sugar sticky floor by mistake as I filled in for the tax on top of the dollar, found a window seat and ate some spoonfuls of this treat. 

After some twenty spoonfuls I got a rush of brain-freeze, and a sort of tightening in my throat that was sort of painful. I paused in my indulgence. Then I laughed. Haha, I got hurt by a chocolate Frosty. Harsh swallow. This Frosty hurt me a little bit. 

After I finished, disposed of the cup, and left I started thinking, well yeah, this Frosty could actually hurt me some day in the form of diabetes if my endocrine system should so choose to spike me with this. 

Americans are getting bullied by Frosties everyday, or more-so, taunted by our sweet teeth and left astray and poisoned by one of our own organs. 

And it begins with what I put into my belly, which becomes a soluble in my blood, I know that, so I teeter between conscientious eating and snacking on tasty junk. It's a battle with craving. It begins in the mind, so before I go and give myself a blood disease, or technically an insulin miscommunication disease, I must reckon, I got a bit of mental one. 

Therapists everywhere should keep in mind, sometimes a Frosty isn't just a Frosty.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Control Experiment

As I've delved more into learning how to code, my dreams have taken on a more intense sensory fabric. A couple of lucid dreams have weaved an occurrence. 

But mostly just intense: the other night a book was released, supposedly written by aliens that went into the future a few years from now, found out the U.S.A goes bankrupt, because of Medicare. This book becomes the rage and incites a civil war. I forget which side I fought for but at one point in my dream I was pushing a cannon strapped with bungy cords to a shopping cart.

Last night, I was hanging out in a primordial geographical mess. Canada used to be a mountain in Mexico, but was picked up and flattened up above the U.S.A. Some farmers and fisherman were pissed because of the ocean displacement. Ooh, there's a theme, eh? In the two dreams mentioned, U.S.A. and people pissed are common threads. But these are things I live around day-to-day, so of course they will be absorbed and become backdrops.

As I first started to learn HTML a few weeks back, I'd of course cram lessons and do exercises in the evening before bed. My dreams brought me to a bright red brain machine in which I had to solve puzzles to maneuver through it. But this is life right? We learn to program ourselves and make our way through a blue/green sphere and overcome problems in order to keep on moving around on it?

Time to go meditate, and program my brain to redirect around conditioned responses to stressors, such as anxiety or glum dumpiness.  Time to teach myself to further look at the problem as beautiful. That bright red brain machine was fucking gorgeous.

Sunday, March 3, 2013


Sun's peaking out more: makes me want to brush off the cold rusted and rutted parts of my functioning. I've started learning a couple of things.

SPANISH! I have a base of this: 3 years of Honors and 1 year AP from High School. Largely unused over the past 10 years. I'm over being a monolingual. I'd be interested to read and even write in other languages. I've long been interested in what I've heard about Samuel Beckett writing in French under the aim that writing not in his native tongue would force him to truly think about each sentence. Within a year I'd like to attempt reading Don Quixote in espanol. I've lot of work to do here to get to that point, though I'd like to drum up some follow through and get on a roll to where every couple of years I'm finding myself fluent in another language, in particular ones with different alphabets that throw me into a different body of linguistics altogether, thinking it through from scratch. Though a challenge then becomes practicing these once learned; finding, creating, and maintaining opportunities to employ speaking and writing with them.

WEB DEVELOPMENT: As I find myself interested in language, I've become intrigued in the aspect of using language to create things and functions. In a way, this goes hand in hand with my exploration of self as a writer. Stories are a bit like apps: language frames sensory triggers that pull from a reader's memory banks, experience, imagination, and into participation. This may seem an over simplification, though both are different mediums for utilizing the power of language to set in motion an experience.

I designed a board game as a gift for various family members this past Christmas. I'm hoping I can attain the skills to adapt it into a web game of sorts. I'll keep you posted on that one via the long term.

With this TailEndO'Winter rolling by, I'm also getting outside and walking around the city more. My legs and cardiac health dig that about my current pseudo rejuvenation of mind and body.